Arika Olson
Intro to Poetry
15 April 2002
TJE#2

Poem of Discussion: “Rites of Passage” 
by Sharon Olds

“Rites of Passage” by Sharon Olds depicts a mother’s objective observation of her first grade son’s birthday party. From the mother’s point of view, the young boys act serious and aggressive, like ‘bankers’, as she states in the poem. As the small men scrap, quarrel, and compete with one another the mother sees the living room suddenly turn into a hostile territory. A conversation is overheard between two boys, “’How old are you?’ ‘Six.’ ‘I’m seven.’ ‘So?’ … ‘I could beat you up’ a seven says to a six” (lines 8, 12-13). The mother compares the birthday cake to a turret, or “a gun tower on a fort or battleship” (Random pg. 702). Amongst the quarrelling chaos the skinny freckled birthday boy emerges confidently to say a few words, “We could easily kill a two-year old” (Line 21). The mother then says the boys then “relax and get down to playing war, celebrating my son’s life” (lines 24-25).

The heavy ironic tone of the poem amused me the first time I read it. I
enjoyed how the mother made the comparison of bankers and Generals to the boys. The most significant irony in the poem is the wording Olds uses to describe the boys, and how the boys ‘play’ by mimicking violent and war like behavior. Indeed the title “Rites of Passage” does explain the stage many young boys go through to learn about their masculinity. “Rites of Passage” seems like a fairly accurate representation of what it might be like to experience a room full of gender trained first grade boys. By gender trained I mean children who have been taught how they should act by what they are allowed to wear and play with according to their gender. For example a gender trained boy may resist crying when he is hurt because of the masculine nature of his gender training, while a gender trained girl may cry and share her feelings because of her experiences. Likewise a mother or a father may have a similar reaction to a room full of gender trained first grade girls although the girls most likely would have different activities.

I have very fond memories of being young. I was gender trained; however, I don’t view it all as negative. Being the only girl among my siblings I was spoiled with all kinds of gender specific toys like Barbies, Strawberry Shortcake, and many baby dolls. My brothers, on the other hand, had their own gender specific toys such as Hot Wheels miniature cars, GI Joe action figures, and lots of guns. While my brothers were outside playing with their action figures and running around with their guns I was inside playing house and dressing my Barbies. I do think some of this gender specific play is important it shows a child how society expects them to act. This is important for a child to know so he/she can adjust their behavior to be accepted.

One amusing memory I have of gender specific play was with my Girl Scout troop. We were about seven or eight years old and having a huge slumber party. Our main activity that evening was having babies. Each of us would  take turns being pregnant and delivering our babies, and then we would care for them. While this activity did show we knew the basics of baby care, it also showed that we had conformed to fit in our gender specific roles. One could say this situation is just as ironic as in the poem “Rites of Passage.” From a mother’s point of view it would be somewhat ironic to walk into a basement full of young girls and see them with dolls under their shirts pretending to be pregnant. The basement could be transformed into a maternity ward with little girls acting like they are in labor and others acting as moral support. In the same way the boys were playing their roles acting like soldiers, my Girl Scouts and I were playing our roles that fit our gender type, and this was our own right of passage.


Sources Used:

1.) Kennedy, Gioia. An Introduction to Poetry. 10th Edition. Longman.Pgs.
38-39.
2.) Random House Webster’s College Dictionary. Random House. New York.
pg.702

 
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