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Men and Women: Become Bored in
Relationships
After years of being together, men and women joined in the name of love often
experience a change from the first encounters of excitement, to infinite
boredom. I believe when a man and woman truly care for and love one another,
they want to spend as much time together as demanding life permits. Sure a
couple may want to spend time together but unfortunately the repetitive routines
of daily life can damper the excitement a twosome seeks. I have observed many
relationships (as well as my own) in this situation and many couples feel
helpless in knowing how to iron out the wrinkles of boredom. Although both men
and women can feel very apprehensive as to where the romance is heading, they
must also appreciate the fact that when there is true love, the spice can be put
back into the relationship. Men and women need to realize that with continuous
routine relationships may become boring, and it is essential for the happiness
of the relationship to take time out to communicate and spend special time
together, otherwise a dull lifeless relationship could be the ending result.
Communication is so important when trying to keep a relationship from fizzling
out. In the poem "Against Still Life" written by Margaret Atwood, the
persona expresses her agony in the presence of her partner's silence. She writes
"And you, sitting across the table, at a distance, with your smile
contained, and like the orange in the sun; silent"(255), describing how
bored she is with this man who just sits and does not let any emotion out. The
couple has now become distant towards each other and they are not communicating
with each other at all. Many times, men and women become lost in how to talk to
each other. I have been with my boyfriend for five years now so I know the cycle
of boredom. Although it seems hard at times, it is vital to involve
communication to keep relationships running smoothly. My boyfriend came up with
the idea of every once in awhile, telling each other one thing we have never
shared before. This usually gets the conversation going, and talking about
something new keeps the interest sparked.
Men and women need to keep the relationship exciting through out the years to be
happy. In the poem "The Bean Eaters", Gwendolyn Brooks brings out the
fear of growing old and bored with your spouse. When I read this poem I thought
about my own relationship and how I wanted to avoid dullness in my relationship
at every cost. Brooks writes "They eat beans mostly, this old yellow pair.
Dinner is a casual affair. Plain chipware on a plain and creaking wood, Tin
flatware."(259) Yikes! This couple is plain and boring! This is a perfect
example of how a pair of lovebirds became lifeless in their romance when it
could have been prevented with some effort to create passion. Instead of staying
at home all the time to eat, they could have dressed up in flashy clothes to eat
at a fancy restaurant once in awhile. I love this poem though because it reminds
us to have fun with our spouses, and I find that getting away just for a day can
be good therapy for a relationship.
Men and women are prone to boredom in long-standing companionship, even when
they truly love one another, however they should not let this obstacle take
control of their romance. After many years of waking up to one another and
taking care of children and running off to work, it is easy to get off track in
the excitement department. I think it is significant to take time out to talk to
each other because keeping the lines of communication open is always better than
just sitting in silence continuously. It is also important to go out and have a
fun time with one another as if the date was the first time. In the poem
"Wild Nights-Wild Nights!" I think Emily Dickonson applauds this idea
writing, "Were I with thee Wild Nights should be Our Luxury!"(264). I
think that she realizes how special a wild night with our spouses makes the
occasion even more exciting. Speaking from experience, two people may be very
much in love and not know how to get the intense romance back after many years.
Efficient communication with one another and making an effort to do new and
exciting things together can make all the difference when finding the way to
romance again.
Works Cited
Atwood, Margaret. "Against Still Life". Bridges. Gilbert H. Muller,
John A. Williams.
New York. 1994. 255.
Brooks, Gwendolyn. "The Bean Eaters". Bridges. Gilbert H. Muller, John
A. Williams. New York. 1994. 259.
Dickinson, Emily. "Wild Nights-Wild Nights". Bridges. Gilbert H.
Muller, John A. Williams. New York. 1994. 264.
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