It's Bound to Change!
I consider parents to be the backbone of the family, and a strong family unit
is essential to a child's development. A family who loves, trusts, respects, and
is supportive of each other bonds together. Open communication is also an
important element for a family to function properly. Without it, so much can be
lost. And lastly, being part of a religious institution unifies the whole
family. When you combine all these qualities, you have a well-mannered and
functional family unit. However, the structure of every family will fracture at
some given time because nothing stays the same and change is inevitable. Our
children mature and eventually move away from home. If they marry and have
children, then a new cycle and family unit is formulated. I know this for I have
been a part of this cycle with my own children now being grown with child. The
family structure we once had has changed tremendously in the last couple of
years. It has been enjoyable, almost like starting a new family all over again.
Some people have difficulty accepting change into their life, and one of the
most difficult changes I experienced was the day my children moved out of my
home. It is very hard letting go of your child knowing how cold and cruel the
world can be. In the poem "Mother to Son" by Langston Hughes, a mother
recounts how her life has not always been easy and states to her son that
"It's had tacks in it,/ And splinters" (52 line 2). She goes on to say
she is still battling to make something of her life by stating "For I'se
still going', Honey," (52). She then passes on words of encouragement to
her son by saying, "Don't you set down on the steps/ 'Cause you find it's
kinder hard./ Don't you fall now--" hoping he will listen to her advice
(52). Assuming her son is a young adult and about to leave home, he is about to
change both of their lives, a change she has no control over. Since nothing
stays the same and change is inevitable, resisting would only cause additional
havoc.
During the course of a life, there will be several changes; some significant
and others not. It will be there; it has no age limit. In the story
"Flight" by Doris Lessing, the setting describes a grandfather to be
living with his daughter and family. He watched three granddaughters become
young adults, leave home, and marry. His fourth granddaughter is about to do the
same. He doesn't understand why his daughter hasn't discouraged them from
marrying at such a young age. He complains in the story to his daughter in which
she comments "When I got married you made me feel like it was something
wrong. And my girls the same. You get them all crying and miserable the way you
go on" (Lessing 20). Grandpa asks her "Can't we keep her a bit
longer" (20)? As his daughter sees no harm in her daughters getting
married, grandpa retreats to find refuge in his birds. A lot of attention in the
story is devoted to the birds in which the birds symbolize freedom, free to come
and go whenever they please except when grandpa locks them inside their cage.
Grandpa fears he will lose his granddaughters and knows nothing will be the
same. The author is good in helping you understand grandpa's feelings that
change will take place in saying "But it's not the same. He thought of the
other three girls, transformed inside a few months from charming, petulant,
spoiled children into serious young matrons" (20). Some of us accept change
while others try to ignore it. No matter how you deal with it, it never goes
away because nothing stays the same and change is inevitable.
I give advice to my children to help them deal with the changes in their
life, and I readily accept advice to deal with change. I no longer resist change
because I know it is inevitable and there is nothing I can do to change its
course. In one of the lines from the poem "Mother to Son" that I
previously presented the mother speaks about her life changing in which she
continues to deal with (Hughes 52). Since the mother knows change is inevitable
she prepares her son by reflecting on her life. Yet, in the story
"Flight" the grandfather appears to have never accepted the change,
just learns to live with it as depicted in the story when he finds refuge in his
birds ( Lessing 18). We all have different ways of dealing with change as
demonstrated in both these writings. Change is a part of every family and when
you have a strong family unit with the qualities love, respect, trust, open
communication, and religion, one is more able to accept changes in their life
more readily.
No matter how many changes one goes through there will always be someone who
either runs or resists. I contrast with Grandpa in the story "Flight",
as he does not want to accept change into his life (Hughes 52). He wants to
retreat and pretend that it does not exist. Running and hiding does not make it
go away. In fact it may only make it worse as seen in the story where his
daughter comments on how he has made life miserable for each of them every time
one girl got married. Learning to live with the theory that nothing stays the
same and change is inevitable is a tough pill to swallow, but once you do life
will become more tolerable for you.
|