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This week we move into the realm of point-of-view.
As we have already learned when telling a story, decisions have to be made about
plot, conflict, setting and theme. Now we must add the final ingredient: who
is telling the story. Failure in this area is often the downfall of the beginning
fiction writer. If the writer is unsure about who is narrating the story, I
guarantee the reader will be even more lost. Your book discusses,
- third person limited: from this vantage point, we are shown and told information
from one person's feels, hears, and thinks
- objective: the fly on the wall, where all that is reported is what can be seen
- omniscient: all-knowing, not limited to time, place or character
However, first person narration and its variations should be familiar to you:
- first person narration: most of us understand that when a person uses the first person
pronoun, I, that we are given limited view of what is happening
- unreliable or naive: a not to be trusted speaker, such at the narrator in "The
Yellow Wallpaper"
- interior monologue: this point-of-view reflects a person's interior landscape with
little focus on that which happens outside..."The Jilting of Granny Weatherall"
is a perfect example
- panoramic narration: summaries of actions and conversations...much of genre
fiction employs this type
- scenic narration: actions and conversations reported without authorial comment, Ray
Carver is a master at this.
When I was in my first fiction writing workshop, a student came in with a rather
dreadful story about high school and its traumas. It was told in the first person
narration, and we all had a terrible time critiquing it because the author was too close
to the material and could not see where it did not make sense. The teacher, Ursula
Hegi, saved us. She told the writer to rewrite the story in third person
limited. Of course, we didn't think that would make much difference because the
story seemed so trite and uninteresting.
However, the student tried his hand at the revision. When we read the story the
second time, we could hardly believe it was the same one even though the conflict, theme,
plot and climatic point were the same. The student told us that when he rewrote the story
in third person, he was able to distance himself from it enough to see its flaws. We
learned a valuable lesson at that time. (Oh as an aside, this fellow sold his revised
story to a television series.)
Remember, too, an important part of any story is dialogue. Here you must remain
true to the point-of-view. If you are writing from a ten year old's perspective,
most likely, she will have the vocabulary and understanding of a ten year old. If
you want to telling the same story from the omniscient narrator, then you have some leeway
in portraying the girl, but the dialogue must remain true to the character.
Remember, also, dialogue is included in a story to further it.
Attend to following two conversations...one of them is an excerpt from a story by R Lynch.
The boy stood there.
"Well?", he said.
The boy's mother had started making sandwiches for lunches in the morning. She rarely sat
while her husband was in the house.
"Where are the keys, Ann?"
She didn't turn. "John, you're not..."
"I said, where-are-the-damn-keys?" He enunciated every word.
She flinched as if stuck in the back of the head. They knew that this man, resentful and
drunk, would have the last word--even in failure.
"Alright," he said, "I'll find them myself." He wrenched the drawers
open in the kitchen and began blindly scooping things onto the floor. "Is this what
you want?" he asked them.
#2
The boy stood there.
"Well? I really want those keys now. Where are they?", he said.
The boy's mother had started making sandwiches for lunches in the morning. She rarely sat
while her husband was in the house.
"I, uh, hate it when you try to keep me from driving even though I only had a couple
of drinks. Where are the keys, Ann? You know I am going to get them even if you don't want
me to have them."
She didn't turn. "John, you're not really planning in you are in such bad conditions.
You've lost your license once already. Please don't do this."
"I said, where-are-the-damn-keys?" He enunciated every word.
She flinched as if stuck in the back of the head. They knew that this man, resentful and
drunk, would have the last word--even in failure.
"Alright," he said, "I'll find them myself." He wrenched the drawers
open in the kitchen and began blindly scooping things onto the floor. "Is this what
you want?", he asked. "Do you really want me to throw everything on the floor
and create a mess for you?"
Do you see the difference? The first excerpt gives us enough that we can feel the
tension and understand that this is an ongoing battle between this husband and wife.
In the second, we are given too much in the way of dialogue which interferes with
the pace of the story. Remember dialogue serves to further the action of the story.
With these ideas in mind, please go to exercise six
to see what's in store for you.
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