Practicing Feedback

After reading the following essay, answer the questions below it.

Rich Llewellyn

One Great Name Begets Another

     In 1882, a man was born who would guide the course of the free world. This man would face hurdles that few in history had overcome. Sixty years later, in 1942, a man was born who would change the course of human knowledge. This man, too, would face obstacles that silence or kill most people. Though the separation of the years prevented the meeting of these two great men, they share ample space in the history of our world. Because each lived life to the fullest extent, Franklin Delano Roosevelt and Stephen Hawking, will be remembered most, not for overcoming unbelievable adversity, but rather for their remarkable individual achievements.

     Until Dr. Salk discovered his vaccine in the early 1960s, polio was perhaps man's most feared disease (A Brief History). Easily transmitted, polio struck fast and irreversibly paralyzed one percent of its victims. When Franklin Roosevelt contracted the dread disease in 1921, his future looked similar to that of thousands of other victims: the quiet isolation of a wheelchair bound life. His mother implored him to return home for the quiet life of the country. Contrary to her wishes, and societal expectations, he returned to work as soon as possible (Roosevelt).

     Although at first Stephen Hawking's doctors could not identify what was causing him to stumble and fall, Hawking knew that whatever he had, it was bad. It was "a bit of a shock", Hawking writes, about realizing that he was not likely to reach his thirtieth birthday (Hawking). He has since been diagnosed as having amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS), better known as Lou Gehrig's Disease, which is normally fatal within three to five years of contraction (TAPA). Hawking, too, returned to work as soon as possible.

     In order to maintain as normal a life as possible given his condition, Roosevelt threw himself into his work. As in the entertainment field, politics is about ninety percent image and ten percent substance. Up until the latter part of the last century, handicapped people were viewed as inferior, regardless of what led to their condition. Roosevelt had two choices, he could choose to make an issue of his condition, or he could ignore it and try to keep it out of the public view as much as possible. He chose the latter path (Roosevelt).

     Thanks Roosevelt's efforts and example, when Stephen Hawking became handicapped he entered a world where people in his condition were no longer judged for their condition. However, as time passed, Hawking's illness continued its progression. At one point, in order to communicate, he was reduced to raising his eyebrows when someone pointed to the correct letter on a spelling board (Hawking). Imagine having to write an essay while hunting and pecking the keyboard at a speed of three letters per minute! Fortunately for Hawking, technology had, at about the same time, caught up with his condition.

     Walt Woltosz, a computer programmer from California, sent Hawking a program called Equalizer. The program allowed Hawking to select from a menu of letters on his computer screen by using the slight hand movement that his body granted his mind. The words could then be either saved to a disk or broadcast through a voice synthesizer, which, like his computer, was attached to his wheelchair. Hawking's only trouble with the system was that it gave him an "American accent" (Hawking).
When Roosevelt ran for the Presidency in 1932, the country saw (or for most, heard and read about) a man with a vision. In his inaugural address he said, "the only thing we have to fear is fear itself." While he used this statement, attributable to Thoreau (Davis 277), to address the worries of a nation in chaos, he must have also applied this philosophy to his own life. He had stared bigotry in the face and had backed it down.

     Every new sunrise that Stephen Hawking views is a new day in the record books for a man who by all accounts should have been dead decades ago. And with each of those new days Hawking has done his best to advance the body of human knowledge. Hawking imagined a universe that few, if any, had ever dreamed about. Using the language of science, Hawking first proved his theories to his peers. And then, in what is perhaps his most remarkable accomplishment, Hawking was able to put his ideas into plain language and lead the rest of us to the promised land of enlightenment.

     Without people like this, people with the fortitude to take all life throws at them, our world would be a much duller place. Imagine a country estate on a warm day in April. The sun is out and birds are chirping; flowers are blooming in the garden. In that same garden are gathered the most powerful men in the country: the President, congressmen, and the entire Supreme Court. These men are gathered to pay their final respects to a man who had served his nation for thirty-five years, through two world wars and the Great Depression. Behind them stands the boyhood home of this great man, a home that would have been his prison had it not been for his drive to overcome the expectations of the time for someone in his condition.

     Imagine the same garden on the same sunny, spring day. But for the birds, the ground stands empty. The occupants of the estate are at a funeral notable only for the fact that the deceased was a distant cousin of a former president. How would the world be today had there been more people like the man in 1932 who stated, "America will never put a cripple in the White House" (Douglas 286)?

    Would we know the name Stephen Hawking?

Works Cited

"A Brief History of Polio." Polio Information Center Online. 8 April 2001 http://cumicro2.cpmc.columbia.edu/PICO/PICO.html.

Davis, Kenneth C. Don't Know Much About History. New York: Avon Books, 1995.

Douglas, William O. The Court Years. New York: Random House, 1980.

Hawking, Stephen. Home Page. 7 April 2001 http://www.hawking.org.uk.

"Roosevelt, Franklin Delano." Encarta. Microsoft. 7 April 2001
http://www.encarta.msn.com.

TAPA Communications. The ALS Reporter. 1997. 7 April 2001
http://www.tapa.com/ALS/index.html.

 

 

Who are you?

Name
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What is the moral or theme of this narrative?


What is best about the essay? Why?


What needs more work? Why?


Does the introduction engage your interest? Why or why not?


Does each paragraph contain specific detail? Which do not?


Are transitions used to help the ideas flow? Where do more transitions need to be used -- if any?


Is there any information that can be seems to be off topic? What is it?


Does the conclusion give a feeling of closure? Why or why not?


If this were your essay, what would you change?


Any further comments?


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